Our internal struggle

Proverbs 12:25

"25 A person's anxiety will weigh him down, but an encouraging word makes him joyful."

   I have struggled with anxiety and depression for two years. The worst point in my life was about a year and a half ago when I found myself in such a panic attack I thought about things that should never cross the mind of a 16 year old. Even when I felt like God was no where to be found, He was right there beside of me keeping me calm in ways that I could not see at the moment. Having a panic attack in itself is one of thee loneliest feelings a person can have, but having a panic attack and convincing yourself that God has abandoned you is the absolute worst feeling that anyone can ever inhabit. Although I have recovered from my crippling anxiety and depression, Satan can still find ways to sneak into my life. This morning while we were taking off to fly to Haiti, Satan found his way into my life. I felt lonely and scared. My breathing quickened, my eyes watered, and I had a feeling of hopelessness, but that is not the end of the story. I was sitting with my best friend Katie and she showed me God. God may not always be inn the form of a spirit that comes upon you, but may shine through others. As she held my hand and reminded me that everything was going to be okay, I felt a peace come over me. I then got my bible out and began to read. I came across Proverbs 12:25 and immediately knew, God was with me. Satan tried to find his way into my life by telling me I was not good enough, but God had other plans. After I started reading through scripture, I plugged my headphones in and pressed shuffle on my playlist labeled 'fellowship'. What are the chances that the song titled "In My Arms" would come on. The chorus of the song says "Knowing, clouds will rage up, storms will race in, but you will be safe in my arms." God is with us in some of the most unexpected ways. What I have learned from this is that even when you feel alone, there is still a presence of God with you no matter how lonely you feel. My prayers go towards anyone else who has ever felt like I have. I hope that after you read this, you will feel that much closer to The One that holds you in His hands.