I know I’ve said that every day has been a hard day, but today was absolutely gut wrenching. Having to leave this place and people that I love so dearly is nearly impossible for me to do. By leaving part of my heart here in Haiti, it makes me feel like I can never be truly content at home. I wonder to myself, why come back every year just to have my heart broken again?
When I’m home, all I feel is guilt and shame. I feel selfish for having more than I need and not giving it all away. Each year I come back, I become more attached to not only the people but also the culture. It is not difficult to feel loved in a culture that is founded on love. By having so little, the people tend to be more grateful for all of the possessions unlike the United States. All we want is more. Nothing is ever good enough. The people here are thankful for everything they have and with that, give all the glory to God.
So, what now? Anyone have an answer, because I sure don’t. What is going to make me feel happy again when all I feel is shame? I know that I cannot only be content for one week out of every year, because there are 51 more weeks that I am home and able to do more. I know that Cardy would not want me to live my life in sadness. He would want me to go home and share my experience with everyone so that they too may become closer to Christ. I am called to go home just as much as I am called to come to Haiti. No matter how hard that is for me to admit. God has a greater plan and I’m just sitting in the passenger seat waiting to see where he takes me.
Hello Repley Haney. I am a Pastor from Mumbai, India. I am glad to stop by your profile on the blogger and the blog post. I am also blessed and feel privileged and honoured to get connected with you as well as know you and about your interest in having God's plan being fulfilled in your life rather than yours. Your mission trip to Haiti must have been encouraging. I am tempted to invite you to come to Mumbai to be with us to work in the slum of Mumbai among the poorest of poor bringing healing to the brokenhearted. I love getting connected with the people of God around the globe to be encouraged,s trengthened and praying for one another. I have been in the Pastoral ministry for last 40 yrs in this great city of Mumbai a city with a great contrast where richest of rich and the poorest of poor live. We reach out to the poorest of poor with the love of Christ to bring healing to the brokenhearted. We would love to have you come to Mumbai to work with us during your vacation time. I am sure you will have a life changing experience. Looking forward to hear from you very soon. God's richest blessings on you, your family and friends.Also wishing you and your family a blessed and a Christ centered rest of the year 2018. My email id is: dhwankhede(at)gmail(dot)com and my name is Diwakar Wankhede.
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